Friday, April 6, 2012

YOUR PASSOVER SEDER GUIDE TO THE NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP


There are very few BC fans who have conflicts due to Passover Seders happening at the same time as the national championship. We are a Catholic school after all.

However, we are all inclusive, and if you do need to balance the second night of Passover with this in mind, here's your Passover Seder Guide to the National Championship.

*-*-*-*

When Jerry was, in Tampa Land,
"Let my Trophy go."

In the dark years before 1994, the ice hockey players of Chestnut Hill were stuck in years of winningless ways, far from the promised land once held fifty years before. Among them rose a leader, who would free them from their bonds and deliver the people.

The Seder Plate

The matzoh represents the hockey puck and its flat nature. It does not pass well on chipped ice in hot weather climates, either.

The saltwater represents the tears of this poor Minnesota player. Dipping the Parsley in it represents Chris Kreider poking him with a stick.

The egg represents the many goose eggs that Parker Milner has pitched in the heart of trophy season.

The bitter herbs represent the bitterness felt by a junior at BU, going into his senior, who wonders if he will ever see his team win the Beanpot.

The shank bone represents the strength of the backbone that keeps the team together, one Jerry York.

Drink the first Busch Light

Why is this night different from all other nights? On all other nights after this one, Chris Kreider will likely be wearing a jersey of the New York Rangers.

Why is this night different from all other nights? On all other nights in which the BCites plays hockey, the Pharaoh Flip is not likely to show up.

Why is this night different from all other nights? On all other nights, we sit back, watching our sports through our closed hands or just check in on them later. Tonight, we giddily celebrate and watch in joy with friends and alums.

Why is Jerry York different from all other hockey coaches? Beyond his dashing nature, unlike other coaches, he also encourages his team to avoid non-consensual celebrating.

Drink the second Busch Light.

Dip your finger in the Busch Light and put one dot on your plate for each of 10 plagues:

  1. Jack Parker
  2. UConn
  3. The best BC coach in the last fifteen years
  4. Hockey in Florida
  5. Skinner's Top Button
  6. [RESPECT HIS PRIVACY]
  7. [RESPECT HER PRIVACY]
  8. Montel's Knee
  9. Field Turf
  10. Logos on Helmets
Pour Snooks' Cup.

And Jerry led the BCites down Commonwealth Avenue, doth splitting it in two, in the middle of which they rode the Green Line for 40 minutes and/or years depending on maintenance. He came down from the Garden with two trophies, doth saying, "There is one more in the Promised Land of Tampa. Go get it."

Shotgun the third and fourth Busch Lights.

(I will now pray very, very, very hard to avoid smiting.)

3 comments:

  1. Best BC blog post ever ... on any BC blog. I mean that. Mazeltov.

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  2. p.s. I suspect that there are more BC fans with seder conflicts than you give them credit for. I remember attending a BC basketball game years ago and seeing two gentlemen a few rows ahead sporting Maroon and Gold beanies (complete with the old BC monogram). While I'm not Jewish, I've often thought about wearing one as a great way to show off my BC pride, while also covering my bald spot!

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  3. Haha, just thought I'd thank you. I had printed this out for the seder and the whole family got a kick out of it. It was the highlight of the night (and we had a lot of 'meaningful family discussion' on it!)

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